Qb Jay Cutler Back on Vacation Once Again

All this time nosotros were trying to forcefulness Jay Cutler to be a bang-up NFL quarterback when really we should take been letting him fulfill his destiny as a perfect reality Idiot box character. Last yr, on his married woman Kristin Cavallari's reality evidence, Very Cavallari, we met the real Jay: beast lover, sometimes-supportive husband, man whose ultimate goal in life is to practise as trivial as possible. It was a glorious revelation—and at present he's back. Join united states of america once once again on this Jay Journeying, where nosotros'll be discussing his highlights and lowlights and best quotes, and handing out a weekly award for Jay Cutler's Most Jay Cutler Moment. Let's go started.

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Vacation Jay Cutler: A Breakdown

This calendar week, we rejoined Kristin and Jay Cutler where we left them: In the Mexican dreamland known equally Cabo San Lucas. Last episode, the couple had decamped to Cabo for Part ane of their holiday, the "couples merely" portion that included a sunset boat trip, a spa 24-hour interval, and Jay Cutler wearing a tiny robe. This episode was Part 2 (ii Cabo 2 Furious), the turnt portion of the vacation. It'southward safe to say Jay Cutler was more comfortable with Part i.

Even before Kristin Cavallari's wild-donkey friends arrived, Jay laid out his ideal vacation: "Play in the water, splash around, have a few drinks, telephone call it a day." Very Cavallari did non capture Jay Cutler "splashing around"; luckily, this has been done in the past:

That's a man in his element. Peak Vacation Jay.

Jay Cutler: He'due south a Dog

Jay Cutler's Meat, Coming Shortly

Jay Cutler may accept finally settled on what he wants to do post-retirement—or Kristin just pestered him with this idea so oftentimes that he gave in and eventually adopted information technology as his own (this is what happens 99 percent of the time in most marriages). After much talk, Jay Cutler is apparently going to open a butcher shop.

This is a terrific idea. Jay Cutler is a human being who first appeared on Very Cavallari toting a cooler full of elk meat; in one episode in Season 2, he and his friend ground up more than a hundred pounds of meat—but for fun; the human being owns a shirt that says "100% Vegan Gratuitous." Meat is his truthful calling. He was born not to be an NFL quarterback, but to butcher cows and sell sirloin.

Likewise, Kristin has already decided that the butcher store is going to exist called Cuts, which is honestly pretty inspired.

"How involved do you want to be in your business organization?" Kristin asks, understandably skeptical since she just witnessed this human being exercise nothing just sit down around the business firm and scout deer cams for the by two years.

"Oh, I'm gonna be micromanaging the shit out of people," he responds.

Tin Flavour 3 of Very Cavallari move away from the drama at Uncommon James and instead focus on whatsoever is happening at Cuts? Can this show pivot to but existence 45 minutes of Jay Cutler grinding meat and answering someone's question about what the best beefiness for tacos is? Or maybe I tin can just go work at Cuts? Jay Cutler, if yous're reading this, I'm willing to uproot my entire life to become an employee at Cuts.

How Jay Cutler Rides a Bus

Seems normal.

A Laguna Beach–Related Aside

I know I never write about annihilation non-Jay in these recaps, but one moment in this episode cannot go unacknowledged. Preparing to hitting the Cabo clubs, Kristin'due south friend Biegs says to her, "I hope this night we tin all just, like, be. You deserve, similar, to have the best night, and to become really drunk and dance in cages and dance on tables."

Now, I can't say for sure that this is a direct reference to the Cabo episode of Laguna Beach, in which Kristin was basically crucified for dancing on a tabular array—quick recap: Stephen Colletti and Lauren Conrad labeled Kristin a slut, and the show was like, "Yes, cool, she is," because it was the early 2000s—but if information technology is, hell yes. Someone has needed to say this for 15 YEARS. OK, Laguna Beach–related bated over.

Jay Cutler Tin can't Hang

Fulfilling Biegs'southward hopes, Kristin does get really drunk and trip the light fantastic toe in a muzzle during their dark out in Cabo—equally is her right; go to hell, Stephen Colletti. Jay Cutler, on the other paw? Not great at nightclubs. While Kristin and all her friends are shown going admittedly nuts, Jay Cutler hardly always makes information technology on screen. Only as I started to wonder, "Did Jay bond?" Very Cavallari included this quick shot of him looking pretty banged upward:

Then, equally the general raucousness continued, ane friend asked, "Did Jay leave?" No, sir. Jay did non go out. He just went to the bar to stare blankly at a menu:

Then, as Kristin and her friends spilled out onto the Cabo streets—where the group proceeded to behave as every group that leaves a lodge after drinking for hours on end: messily—the photographic camera cut to Jay Cutler, who, for some reason, was meandering effectually past himself on the other side of the street?

This looks legitimately worrisome. Look at those people hounding Jay Cutler. Did he know where he was? This is how fights get-go.

"Jay loves to have a good time," Kristin said in a confessional vocalization-over. "But when he's had enough, he's had enough. … Jay is either leading the charge, or he can't keep up."

It is clear which camp he brutal into this time.

I Don't Even Know What to Characterization This Section

Kristin Cavallari has zippo chill. She has openly discussed how Jay Cutler became skilful at oral sex by reading an article in GQ; she has proudly spoken well-nigh she and Jay Cutler sat in on each other'due south colonics. And drinking heavily with her friends in Cabo during this episode, she went on multiple TMI tangents. Jay Cutler seemed pretty thrilled about it:

Almost egregious was Kristin'southward story well-nigh how, later on the birth of one of her children, her milk ducts clogged—and Jay Cutler had to unclog them past sucking, really hard. To be off-white, though, it was actually Jay Cutler who started this chat by blurting out in the middle of dinner: "Breast milk is where information technology's at, though." I repeat:

Breast milk is where it's at.

For some reason he elaborated on this: "It's sweet," he says, without one shred of irony in his voice. "But one time information technology unclogs, it does, it's merely like [whoosh sound]." Thankfully, Jay Cutler also included manus gestures during this presentation:

I but—what am I watching?

The Near Jay Cutler Moment of the Week

There was a lot of good stuff to choose from in this episode—the butcher shop, the breast milk, Jay Cutler wincing at the thought of drinking tequila:

I'm telling you, Cabo is where reality Idiot box gold is mined.

But the Most Jay Cutler Moment this week, above all things, was the guy's body language while bungee jumping:

He just flops on out there like a fish! And he doesn't make a sound! Jay Cutler, absurd as a cucumber … or mayhap technically dead.

1 more than week to go—see you back here to talk about the finale of Season 2 of Very Cavallari.

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Source: https://www.theringer.com/tv/2019/5/6/18528522/jay-cutler-very-cavallari-season-2-episode-9

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